like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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