hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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