dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
