I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
