okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
