office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
