i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
