So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
True strength comes from lack of pants
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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