Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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