she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
