I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
