Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
