I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
