in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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