I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm jealous of your bromance
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
