Screwed.edu
I have demons in me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
