I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
