I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
