R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
