i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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