Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
