I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
