did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
