dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
