i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
