What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
