i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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