I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
