after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
well you can't waste a boner
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
