i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
