You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
