hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
