the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
