is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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