did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
