so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
