I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
