OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
