i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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