remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How's work?
Spinning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
