is your mom at the bar?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
