HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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