I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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