I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We need to get me chipped asap
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