those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
