As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
