Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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