you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This baby is an asshole
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
