I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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