im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
