your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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