she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize